I’ve been trying to figure out who I really am for years now.In short,trying to be my own psychologist and psychiatrist.

I speak another regions language more fluently than some of  its locals,I’m usually not violent and I’ve irrepressible curiosity that has led me into more trouble than the year has days!My concern isn’t only  the non-violent persona but other questions whose answers still elude me.Why do I act the way I do sometimes?If you shot me today,I wouldn’t retaliate but tomorrow,you may not be too lucky.

In my entire life,I’ve been violent exactly,2 times but on neither occasion did I draw any blood.Even after dissecting frogs and rats in A’level biology practicals,human blood’s still high on the my list of dreaded things,a couple of places behind snakes.

The first time I made fists with the intention of hurting someone was way back in P.2.Heart racing,un-bllinking eyes,laboured breathing;I was angry.I don’t recall what triggered it but I remember the consequent actions vividly.

Our fight was very short-lived.At most,it lasted 2 minutes.He swang his come to punch me,straight in the face.I ducked my head,Evander Hollyfield style,and punched him in the stomach.That was the end of the fight.The adrenaline in my blood made me do the inevitable.I hurried out of class.

The only other time I was violent was 5 years after that incident.That time my opponent was my best friend then.It was around the time when I knew and had watched more Kung-fu/Wu shu movies than any kid in school.So you can imagine the moves I pulled on my opponent.

In the recent past I’ve been called a coward more times than I care to remember.Simply because I prefer to use non-violent means to solve dispute(and believe me,disputes are my daily bread).I admit that am not Ghandi but violence has never solved anything,for me at least.

So why don’t I use violence?Is it because I dread the outcome of such fights,that I’d emerge the loser?Or is it a strategy I’ve subconsciously learnt to avert danger.If so,then it is its success as an averter that made it a trait worth learning.