Hepatica’s sanctuary

The other first flower of Spring…

Archive for April, 2008

What we’ll say to get in your…

April 26, 2008 at 4:23 am · Filed under Uncategorized

I don’t think I’ve ever used a pick-up line but I know a lot of guys out there who use them.They are something like this:

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you!

Are you wearing lipstick? – she answers yes – Mind if a taste it?

Can I have a picture? ……So I can show Santa EXACTLY what I want for Christmas.

Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Do you have a band-aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knee when I fell for you…

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, “I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is.”

Here I am! Now what were your other two wishes?

Hey, do you know what winks and makes love like a tiger? *WINK*

I’d buy you a drink, but I’d be jealous of the straw.

I’d like to be reincarnated as one of your tears, because I’d be born in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house?

If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Is that a ladder up your stocking or a stairway to heaven?

My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

Oh, my dear! Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

That’s a nice shirt, can I talk you out of it?

They say to never judge a book by its cover. So why don’t we take off your coverings, and let me judge you in the morning?

You see a person that you would like to meet. Tap them on the shoulder. They turn around. ‘Oh.. I’m very sorry. From over there you looked like someone I know, but from here you look like someone I should know.’

You’ve probably heard every line there is, so one more isn’t gonna hurt.(Well.I’ve used this once…)

Send me a post card from hell after using one of the above;or Heaven,if any of them works.

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Back in the day

April 25, 2008 at 11:07 pm · Filed under Random thoughts

Why does life have to be so complicated?Exams,work,kids,marriage…

It’s for that reason that I will encourage my kids to enjoy their childhood.The innocence of childhood can’t be replaced,nor the support.You just ask for things and daddy or mummy will get them for you.You live the life of a king!

Today,as I listened to Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration”,I realized how much I miss my innocent childhood,but above all the music.I remember dancing to Yvonne Chaka-chaka hits,unleashing new strokes whenever Kofi Olomide played on radio and bobbing my head to Lucky Dube songs.

What I’d give to turn back the hands of time;to be that little boy again.To play football till late in the evening,play nintendo video games again,sit on the laps of loving uncles and aunts,live without a care in the world…

I’ve an exam coming up and my head is about to burst.I better get some sleep…

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Random thoughts

April 19, 2008 at 5:39 am · Filed under Uncategorized

It’s one of those days.My mind is preoccupied with more important issues yet I feel I have to write something,just to ease the  pressure off my damn mind.

Hell-ary,sorry,Hillary Clinton and Obama campagin:

They are both already making history and their battle for me has been the most entertaining.At the very beginning,things looked very good for Obama till Hillary miraculously turned the tables around.Then Obama gained momentum again.Pennslylvania primaries are just around the corner.Whatever happens,neither of ought to lose it.

Hillary’s team came up with the  3 a.m phone call ad.It was quite simple.A phone rings in the White House at 3 a.m and  then  the viewers are informed that the only person who would answer that call is Hillary Rodman Clinton.

I watched I got a crush on Obama by Obama girl and then shortly afterwards, i got a crush on Hillary..(take that Obama girl) .Thank God for youtube.

‘…barack me…’- I got a crush on Obama. Obama must  be quite something! Then I heard ‘…who the hell is Obama…?’  - I got a crush on Hillary..(take that Obama girl) .

Bella:

Isn’t she the dancehall queen,as she claims,in Uganda?I suppose so.If she could just put on some wait,she’s fit her part.A word with Marble(sshhh-Marble ft Vamposs) perhaps?

Zimbabwe:

The last time I checked, 3 tomatoes in the market in Zimbabwe went for millions!I just wonder it must cost to travel the distance equivalent to that between Kampala and Jinja.The other concern would be how to carry the money.I mean it is probably about 20 or so million  Zimbabwean dollars.

Liverpool fc:

I have supported Liverpool most of my life.Before that I was an Man-U fan;in the days of Eric Cantona,when Man-U’s sponsor was Sharp.Over the years we’ve been called names,the most commonly used being  ‘Loserpool’ but there’s something about us that keeps us going.That ’something’ is called Hope.Unlike the other teams’ supporters who have sleepless nights after a loss,we ’swallow’ the result and wait for the next!

Rafa Benitez has been our saviour in many ways.First of all,he’s responsible for signing Fernando ‘El Nino’ Torres,the best thing that has happened to Liverpool since the days of Robbie “The god of Anfield’  Fowler and Michael Owen.Secondly,the Champions League.The Premiership trophy has so far eluded him,but so did it Gerrard Houlier before him and the other managers before Houlier.

Am not sure why am writing this.I think it’s therapy for me.A means of letting off excess energy now that am not expected to jump around and kick whatever is kickable.

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Just words part 2

April 15, 2008 at 1:04 am · Filed under Just words and tagged: ,

The stories behind the words again:

Sphinx:Have you read Harry Potter and Goblet of fire?If you have,then you do remember the Sphinx Harry met in the maze during the Triwizard contest,the last task.In Greek Mythology,a Sphinx was a winged she-monster with the body of a lion but the breasts and head of a woman.Meanwhile,the Sphinx in Egypt is wingless and mostly has the head of a man.

But our concern is the she-monster.Again,according to Greek Mythology,there was a Sphinx is Thebes that proposed riddles to all the people,mostly Thebans,who crossed her path.She
strangled whoever failed to answer her riddle correctly and threw them over the cliff.In Latin sphinx means “the strangler”.No one had ever answered her riddles correctly till Oedipus,recently returned to Thebes.Her commonest riddle was this.”what walks on 4 legs in the morning,on 2 at noon and on 3 in the evening?”

To this Oedipus answered,”A man,for he crawls in the morning of his life,walks erect in the noon of his power and uses a crutch in the evening of his age.”The Sphinx was so astonished and frustrated at the same time,that she flung herself over a cliff.

Lesbian:A lesbian is a homosexual.Without going into rather lurid details,I will add that the word homosexual is often misused.The word homo in Latin means man but the same word in Greek means same.Hence,homodonts have teeth that are the same(of the same size).The word
homosexual has it’s roots in Greek.

Back to the point.There lived a poetess on the Island of Lesbos called Sappho.It’s alleged that she wrote a poem to Aphrodite pleading with her to help her,Sappho,arouse ardor in a certain woman.As a result,she was believed to be a lesbian which she was indeed,by birth but not necessarily by disposition.How the English adopted the word is another story.

Leopard:The word pard in Greek means panther, but the Greeks came up with the word pardos to mean a male panther. Then,it was believed that leopards were hybrids between lions and panthers.So they called them leopardos.The word leopardos is a combination of two Greek words. Leo which means lion and pardos which means male panther.However,scientist proved that leopards are a species of their own and not hybrids,but let the name be because it was already in use in Literature and Science itself.So the saying that “a leopard can’t change it’s spots” sounds apt considering that it can’t even change it’s name!

Guillotine:In the 18th Century,the use of hanging as a means of execution fell out of favour.Other means of execution that were more efficient had to be found.

Enter Dr. Joseph Guillotin,a French physician who was concerned that hanging caused a lot of pain and suffering to the condemned.So he made a machine that could make a clean cut through the neck of the victim causing little or no suffering at all.While promoting his machine to the French Assembly,he’s quoted to have said,”With this machine,I can whisk off your head in a twinkling and you feel no pain”.And his machine was as good as his word.Beheading originally reserved for the nobility,became the main means of execution.Later the spelling of the machine named after him,became guillotine.

Canada:It’s the second largest country in the world,I think(provided I was paying attention in my high school Geography lessons).

One story has it that two Spanish explorers reached a point just south of the present-day Canadian border.One of them scaled high to see what lay beyond.His partner asked him “que ve vd?”(what do you see?), to which the other answered “Aca nada”(“nothing’s there”).But the a whipped away by the wind, to make his reply ca’nada.

The other story is that of an Indian chief who while talking to the explorer Jacques Cartier,pointing to his village and waved his hand in a semi-circle,and said “kanata/kanada”.Jacques thought the chief meant that the entire region beyond the horizon was called “kanada/kanata”.The word kanata/kanada means village!

Hence the name Canada.

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Four questions

April 14, 2008 at 9:45 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

I hate Mondays.They are the beginning of a week of headache!There’s work and other things and the hungover headache from the precious day’s party!

FOUR JOBS I HAVE WORKED

1. TYPIST

2. STUDENT!!!

3. NOT APPLICABLE AGAIN

4.YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW

FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER

1. THE HOLIDAY

2. HITCH

3. ERAGON

4. MADAGASCAR

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED (COUNTRIES)

1. UGANDA

2. UGANDA TOO

3. UGANDA ALSO

4.UGANDA AGAIN

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE

1. THE 4400

2.ROME

3. HOT PROPERTIES

4. SMALLVILLE

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION

1. KAMPALA- UGANDA

2. JINJA- UGANDA

3. GULU- UGANDA

4. LIRA- UGANDA

FOUR OF MY FAVOURITE FOODS.

1.CHICKEN!

2.CHICKEN!!!

3.BEEF

4. P.O.R.K
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW

1. HEAVEN

2. HAWAII WITH EVA MENDES BESIDE ME

3. SAO PAOLO FOR THE CARNIVAL

4. ON THE SET OF SPECIES 4 WITH HELENA MATTSSON

SOME BLOGGERS TO TAG

CHERI

BAZ

BBC WORLD HAVE YOUR SAY

Well,that’s just about it!

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Strikes.Don’t you love them?

April 8, 2008 at 1:31 am · Filed under Being Ugandan

Thanks to “freedom of speech” we can wake up one morning,after a period of discontent,pour onto the streets,loot whatever we can lay our hands on and when the police arrives with teargas,retreat to the comfort of our hostels/homes.That is a strike for you.

The good thing about them is that I get to buy credit worth,say 5000,at a much lower price.I know some people would love to tell me about ethics and stuff but hey,”T.I.A”(this is Africa-Blood Diamond);so give me break.

The strikes I wouldn’t join though are the hunger strikes.I don’t see the logic behind it!I mean how am I affected if it’s you that’ll sooner than later starve?Actually,come to think of it,it is funny!I saw the Kyambogo University students who claimed to have started one and I could only pity them.The look on their faces!

I want to bet my…backside that all of them ran to the nearest ‘kafunda‘ after that encounter with the police.

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Shows,shows and more shows

April 3, 2008 at 12:21 am · Filed under Being Ugandan

Am not sure where Ugandans copied the love of shows from.”Copied” because truth be told,Ugandans have the congenial skill of copying.Hairstyles,fashion and even habits.In my high school days,you had to dress like lil’ Wayne in one his videos to be considered “styled up”.The only thing they haven’t copied I think is their eating habits.Perhaps I should stop using “they” and adopt the more honest “we”.I was talking about shows, wasn’t I?

Recently Kci and Jojo were in town and performed at Katikati restaurant,thanks to Halima Namakula’s No-End Entertainment.Last I heard,over 60% of Ugandans live below the poverty line but when shows like this come to town,people reach deep in their pockets and part with a lot of money(by Uganda’s standards at least).What’s more,we want to be identified as VIPs so we pay for the Gold ticket(120,000 Ug. shs).

kcijojo30.jpg

The show couldn’t be held on Easter Sunday;the Heaven’s made sure of that.So it was postponed to the following Wednesday and it actually did take place.Now that’s some truth in advertising.

Well,the Ugandan crowd never disappoints.Ask Shaggy,P Square,Montel Jordan,tevin Campbell,Sean Paul,Brick and Lace…the list is endless.They’ve all held shows here and can testify.

kcijojo29.jpg

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Now we will have to sit tight and wait for this guy:

Akon

I only hope after this,we won’t blame anyone for misuse of office.

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